Off With Their Head! - Tweedles, Han, & Chustin nonsense

I don’t own Glee. I don’t own Mama CP’s OCs. I don’t own Dalton. Heck, I don’t own anything, kay? It just popped into my head while listening to Thriller/Heads Will Roll and kept bugging to be written so… 

I also don’t know how Chustin came into being. It’s probably OOC. It’s very terrible. People OTPing on the Tank, please don’t kill me. I’ve only written DwiLaura, Dersley (as crack) and Jogan before this.

Enjoy, I suppose.

~

Blue eyes met. Two boys exited their room.

.

“Tweedles.” They chorused just as the LED screen flashed its customary WHO ARE YOU.

“Took you long enough.” Han muttered as the twins entered his domain, punching a few keys with half an eye on a screen on his far left while rattling off a string of voice commands to a mic connected to another system on the right.

“You said you had something interesting, Caterpillar.” Ethan vaulted over one of the machines, riffling through the shelves in boredom.

“You know interesting is a summons for us.” Evan continued, poking Han periodically.

“So what’ve you got?” They chorused again.

“I would say patience, young Padawans, but I pity any Jedi Master who’s saddled with the two of you as Padawans.” Han muttered, pushing his keyboard - or at least one of them - aside. 

He swiveled his chair, pulling himself up to another system. “Playback video ND Football Halftime.”

Flanking him, Evan and Ethan exchanged a curious look as the video loaded on the widescreen.

The neurotic brunette’s strong vocals were instantly recognized by the twins, but it was the lyrics that made them grin.

Off with your head
Dance dance dance ’til you’re dead
Off Off Off with your head
Dance dance dance ’til you’re dead
Off Off Off with your head

“Curious, Caterpillar.” Evan’s features formed that Cheshire grin that was always a prelude to some very interesting events.

“Curious and curiouser.” Ethan matched his twin’s grin.

Evan nodded. “We must be off.”

“Things to plan.”

“Plans to implement.”

“Thanks, Caterpillar!” The two hopped over a mass of wires and disappeared out of the door.

.

Charlie Amos exited his room the next morning. It was early yet, and Windsor was still quiet. Peace would reign supreme until Kurt discovered…

“Not again, guys!” The countertenor yelled.

Yup, Kurt had discovered his room flooded with coffee, and everyone was up. 

“We just love - OW! - you!” Reed called, hopping on one foot out into the hallway. “Morning, Chaz - Oof!”

The little fashionista lay splat in front of his House Prefect. Charlie sighed. Just another day in Windsor. Pulling Reed up to his feet, he chided. “You’re danger prone enough on both feet, Reed.”

Reed grinned sheepishly. Actually, not quite… Having lived with the lunatics for at least a year… Charlie narrowed his eyes. It wasn’t quite sheepish, that grin. More… guilty.

Reed’s eyes darted to behind Charlie, and suddenly the Prefect found himself flanked by two blonde heads. Evan. Ethan.

And they started humming MJ’s Thriller, while herding him down the stairs to the kitchen.

Seeing Blaine give them an amused look at the sight he beheld when he exited his room on the second floor, Charlie gave his Acting a pleading look. Too bad for him, Blaine missed it in favor for looking towards Kurt’s door as it opened.

The countertenor, though, was thoroughly distracted by the increasingly loud humming that the Tweedles were doing. “Is that… Thriller?” His mind quickly connected the dots (he’d just Skyped with his fellow McKinley divas). “Oh no, not the halftime mashup.”

It was like throwing a blowtorch on to the fuel. The Tweedles burst into song.

Off with your head
Dance dance dance ’til you’re dead
Off Off Off with your head
Dance dance dance ’til you’re dead
Off Off Off with your head

Charlie groaned. Not that reference again! Why did he have to be the Red Queen? He ran, but the music only followed him out of the House.

“Han! I’m looking at you!” He yelled at the camera pointed at the main entrance to Windsor, as he ran past, trying to get away from the Tweedles.

.

It didn’t stop there, to Charlie’s dismay. The Tweedles somehow infected everyone with the song. Warblers and Windsors in particular. There was always one person in his class who would be humming the song, or singing it softly under their breath.

“Oh thank God.” Charlie sighed, slumping into his seat beside Justin in Literature. After two days of class like that - and the madness continued back in Windsor as well, he was understandably relieved. Finally someone sane. And no Warblers around him. 

Or Windsors, because most of them did their best to not take Literature.

“Not God, but you’re welcome.” His fellow Prefect’s grin faded when he noted the stress that Charlie seemed to sport. “Chaz, is something wrong?”

“Windsor. Twins. Crazy. Wonderland. Music.” Charlie muttered.

It was a testament to their friendship that Justin managed to piece together the problem. “Brightmans found a song with a Wonderland reference regarding you, and roped Windsor into the crazy thus driving you insane?”

The head resting on the table beside him nodded. “They’re going to keep at it when I get back. It’s been two days, Justin!”

Two days was rather insane. Charlie could laugh it off for a while, but two days continuously was pushing it. “You can crash at Hanover a while after this.” Blue eyes shot up to meet his. “If you wanted to, I mean!” He hastily amended.

“Are you kidding? I’m not letting you take back that offer, Bancroft.”

.

Getting to Hanover was easier said than done. Charlie would have sworn the Twins had spies in his class, seeing how they attempted to accost him after class. Both Prefects broke into a run once they left South and Main, making for the cover that was Switzerland. Even the Twins wouldn’t break in there and risk Justin’s wrath. Or perhaps it should be said especially the Twins. 

Something about an altercation with Laura, Dwight, and a locked playroom accessible only from the Brightmans’ room.

They were both winded when they made it into Justin’s room. The English Prefect collapsed into a chair. “Take the shower first.” He gestured towards the door.

Charlie wordlessly nodded, pulling out shirt and pants from Justin’s drawers before going through the door to the attached toilet.

.

Justin had nearly dozed off when he heard singing in the shower. He smiled. Charlie only dared to sing in the shower when he was comfortable. That constituted to singing in Hanover, essentially. The off-key quality might have had to do with it. Living in Windsor which had the most Warblers…

One line caught Justin’s attention though. 

‘Cause this is thriller, thriller night

He couldn’t help himself. “Chaz? Do you hear yourself?”

“Hear wha - Oh.” Charlie swore. “I’m going to kill the twins. And Han. And the Windsor Warblers. Actually, I’m just going to kill Windsor.”

“Please don’t!” Justin called back, grinning. “You’d be killing yourself then, and where would I be without you, Amos.”

“Yeah yeah, I love you too, Bancroft.” Charlie sighed, emerging from the bathroom. Plopping himself into Justin’s lap, he buried his face into the other’s neck. “Still going to kill them. With the bat.”

“Alright then. Poison might be cleaner though.” The other murmured agreeably. “You do realize you’re the only one who’s showered?”

“Oh.” Charlie pulled back, wrinkling his nose. “We’ll just have to shower then. And then you’re going to find someway of making me forget that song.”

Justin smirked as he was tugged to his feet. “We’ll see.”